Friday, December 25, 2009

happiness

today attend service pastor how talk about happiness it recall me when i am young .. that time when i am young the thing of happiness is to like fairly tales and then when i slowly grow up the i realize not really cause you never know the true ending of the fairly tales is prince and princess really happy together ?? no one know .. maybe author of the stories know hahah.. as age grow start to see outside world is not a warm place everyone start to have the dog eat dog game and backstabber game .. that turn the world to be miserable.. and everyone start to not trust and life in the depend thing that is on material way or worst it turn out to be man depend on man .and is ok but soon you will realize your life can't live without the thing or man you depend and once they are gone you will felt more fake .. and sad ..no more smile but tiredness is life suppose to be like tt why can we be more real in the way we are and not fake or depend so much on thing that not meant for us.. look on the bright side life can be better then you think

Sunday, December 20, 2009






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the reason why i dont like cakes

some time is always hard to tear down the pride that you on.. some time is cause you was hurt so badly in the relationship and turn out you dont trust ppl .. and wear alot of mask. and turn out to forget who you are in life and being so fake about life even have to force yourself to smile and act sad that you dont even felt sad .. i used to be like that i lost my dad when i am young became a gal who dont like to cry in front nothing more for me to cry as my dad my love have left as i though and that turn out my strong pride like to challenge thing and fight to cover my fear of love to others .. even in relationship will end out to be coward. cause as the person give me love the more pressure i felt that i felt one some how the ppl wl just left me alone and all alone the fears in me and it will bought back how my dad left me the fears me turn back to be like a child .. and every time ppl ask wat i want the most i want to tell them i wish my dad will hold my hand again and cut cake with me just like i am young but all is over .. recently packing the house and saw some photo that my dad have and watch some video click .. it stir the feeling in me again and my tears jus fall on my face .. and i realized one thing now as i am in church the love that i get now is everlasting cause this person is Jesus and slowly is just erase the fears and the mask i am not play gal who toy around the relationship as i am fears so sometime ppl will think that is actually i am trying to love .. now i can cause He taught me love

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Sorry

Is quite wired and strange to write this blog .. I am quite a blur person and I am those quite easy to believe thing that my buddy said so normally I will believe . recently I found out that there is a friend that I mistaken him and I start to look at the book by it covers and doesn’t want to carry on to read it . and listen to what others said hai …. And I will dao this person don’t matter is good or bad , nice or friendly … to me my buddy don’t like you that mean I don’t like you.. cause normally I am soft ear type of people . today I heard one of my friend tell about him and I start to realize that actually this person is not that bad .. and after she tell me actually he is hurt quite badly in a relationship and he is quite poor thing hai… I didn’t know he is actually this type of guy I start to look at him is a different side and try to look at this person in a different view so sorry that I often feel to dao you, give you the black face and try as much as I can just to don’t talk to you .. hai but after knowing the sadly relationship that you have came across I want to said sorry ….. but don’t mistaken if I am in my 14 yrs old I never fall for you that 21 years of mine I will still not fall for you cause seriously you are really not my cup of latte .. or tea . I never want to mistaken by it .. cause I already set my target in life so love or relationship will only came when I hit on my target but even it hit on you will still not to be the one …. And I hope to tell those people that I hurt you please forgive me .. I will try not to be so soft to listen to people that easily haha sorry .. no is seriously I am sorry …

Ps : I have learn my mistake can forgive me .. sooooooooooo sorry

Friday, October 2, 2009

Puzzle of life
I mean the jigsaw puzzle of life
We got a lot of puzzle in life
Love puzzle – when you find the right one to fit in the whole picture
Friends puzzle – when you find a lot of best friends in life and it turn to be a picture
Family puzzle – that is a puzzle that when you came to the world the picture is
Already form .

I recently find out that I have some break puzzle in life that I don know why .. it just can’t fit to any of the 3 puzzle or any of the picture in it I met you in a sudden . at the point of time I only find you look familiar but I just can’t recall it don’t know why at the first sign . till I kept meeting you .. and I start to realize the feeling that I have with you supposed to be beautiful and nice picture .. cause every time I try to sort it out the memory that I have with you it kept rang on this song ‘ sometime when we touch ‘ I don’t know why whenever the face of yours appears in my mind it just kept rang in my mind .. I meet you at 16 sept 09 at 5.45 pm location somewhere in the town . on 18 sept 09 I try to put you in my mind to think who you actually are at 12midnight think and kept think of your face and then when on to the website to find the song that whenever I think of you ‘ sometime when we touch’ through the whole night the song kept repeat playing and the memory came in pieces although it doesn’t came to a picture . but the feeling was so strong so strong . at 23 sept I saw you again then I realize that my head is all about why I can’t bring back the memory . is it after the fall that I have on 16 the fall cause me to forget something that you have with me ? or is it cause of the way beautiful turn to sour . so I don even want to put in ?30 sept I saw you again and I know that if I need to figure out I need to talk to you . there so many time you stand right in front of me but I just cannot talk suddenly I felt I turn up to be a some one that run out of courage someone that can’t really talk .. so sorry is not I don’t want to talk to you is that I am scare thing will turn sour again .. I wish to ask you what really happen ? do I really know you ? but after all the doubt that I have I kept silent. Don’t matter what I still hope that you are fine ..

PS: don’t smoke so much is bad for your health
, if you ever came a cross reading this blog and you think that you have the same similar thing that happen. Or you think that you are the you that I wrote in this blog and you think that we still can be friend please add me in mandyteo_@hotmail.com

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The pass by in my life

Every young people will ask what is a real love ? what is the right time for love ? who is the right one? How to figure up like, admire and love.
My love life is when you run 100 meters and you till in the 50 meters is good but when you run to the end of 100 meter it just stop there

This is how I figure up
Like- is something that you feeling of belonging
Admire – is something that caught your attention in the first sight
Love- is a feeling of both like and admire and add on the chemical of feeling like some anger some happiness on thing that you even feel wired about it feeling ridicule ..

First pass by can i said he taste like a cup of coke it taste sweet and excitement . I met him at the age of 9 . . still remember you are sitting beside me we talk all type of thing you always after school have to go to childcare . then some time if time allow you . you and a few friend will came to my house playground to play football at the point of time I know feel there is somebody who always play with me and it remind of 3 to 4 years . then some thing happen our folks find out how close we are they separated us and stop us for seeing each at the age of 13 we went to different school.. and we still write to each other after that your folks send you oversea for further studies and we totally lost contact to each other .cause you be changing to different places . I don’t know why they want to separate us . when I grow up then I realize our folks doesn’t want us to developed a boy girl relationship cause as we are still schooling this cup of coke is nice but after all it lost the taste of it …

My second pass by

He taste like water after a cup of coke I think a cup of water is better to wash strong taste of coke is not that exciting but it turn up to be comfort.. I meet you at the age of 14++ back to the primary you told me you have notice me but don’t know will I accept you to be a friend a not? So funny my first time met some one like that we always talk at through phone I think is almost midnight then we will hang the phone . whenever I am sad or stress you will always tell me cold joke and always tell drinking water will help me cool down. We went on this till I reach 17 I start to knew that the feeling of yours to me is more than a friend .. I feel a bit scare to accept this cause I don’t will you be like coke a not left me all alone . I am sorry I can’t afford the feeling again so every time we talk I will ask you to find a girlfriend and you will always tell me you don’t like it . I ask you to descried the gal you like you will often tell me like you lor .. ten my reply is always I already have some one that I like hai you no chance la I know you will never give up so I put on an act on the birthday of yours do let you know that I am not a nice start do behave not like myself being very unreasonable but you are always smiling and do all the impossible thing just to made me feel happy but I keep a distance from by not reply your sms your call … ps allow me to tell you I am so sorry I know is no use of saying cause your 17 years old birthday is mess up by me although now we met each other the distance of us is still there but you are still smiling in front of me jus to let me feel comfortable.. sometime I jus want to tell you don’t treat me too good I don’t deserve it ..
my third pass by

he is like a cup of green tea .. strong a nice it smooth the throat of mine. I always remember you always be there whenever I am being bull by others you are like a guardian angle always by my side .. I met you at my cca you will always came with the group of your friend and spend time to stay longer although you are a top student in our school but you still chose me a jus average gal to fall in love .. at first I am scare but you took the first step and tell me nothing is impossible cause no matter what happen you will be by my side .. and with all the praise that my friends praise on you I accept you and we together I always happy, when you wait for me to end my lesson, when I wait for you to end your competition on your cca .. nothing seems to be bad till the invisible third party .. yours friends told you I have a super close guy friend and we are very close and I heard from my friends that you also have a gal that is very close to you .. due to this our relationship turn up to be sours and we don’t even have the courage to end the relationship as silent go on we end . by some reason we see each other again and then we realize is all cause of the rumors that happen cause our friends want us to end our relationship they even find all type of matter to broke us out cause they think we don’t have time for them . our invisible third party is actually don’t trust each other.. green tea is nice but if you add in thing like coco powder it will not taste as what you taste in the first place…

I not only wrote not to let people know my love stories is also letting you all know there is a lot of time we made mistake by finding a lot of thing till the end we lost yourself but when we start step out of the square box there is actually more thing more people to cherish of .now you ask me through this 3 drink what I like the most I will tell you is still the cup of coke cause that is when I know all type of feeling although I have a lot of feeling but I have no regret of having them in my life happy or sad I know that is part of my memory is also part of my growing .. now I don’t have any drink that I like the most but I know no matter is what drink I know this drink is going to taste the some as I was create